Remember the urban legend that says a wretched ghost will appear if you chant “Bloody Mary” in front of a mirror three times? We do. We also remember the childlike, terrified feeling we had hearing the folklore for the first time. That’s exactly how we feel when we witness the overwhelming and overwrought Bloody Mary garnishes that have taken over the classic cocktail. Centerpieces are meant for tables, people — not for the rims of your glasses.
The drink is said to have originated at the classy King Cole Bar in Midtown Manhattan in 1934, but the cocktail has since become the epitome of camp. And while it seems we’ve garnished a bit too close to the sun with Bloody Marys, tall, colorful, and over-the-top adornments are a cornerstone of the concoction. So, we’ve rounded up and ranked common Bloody Mary garnishes, from cool yet composed to outright absurd. Read on for our definitive ranking of Blood Mary garnishes.
Celery
A pale green celery stalk poking out of the bright red cocktail is a sight for sore eyes. Celery is about as classic as it gets for a Bloody Mary garnish, and we give bonus points if the stalk has leaves attached for extra drama. Working your way through the drink and intermittently chomping on the celery creates the perfect flavor balance: The crunchy, watery vegetable is a foil to the spicy, boozy mix. As a portion of the stalk rests in the cocktail, it inevitably sops up some of the vodka and tomato juice, making for a beautiful finale to the drink. The most special characteristic of celery in a Bloody Mary, however, is that it establishes the cocktail’s trademark verticality.
Bacon
Bacon has a similar ethos but altogether different effect than celery. It retains the thin, tall characteristics of a typical Bloody Mary garnish, though depending on a strip’s cook level, it loses some structural integrity, ranking it lower on our list. The pork’s fatty, savory notes serve as a conduit for the cocktail’s bits of spice. As Bloodies are not without their ties to boozy brunch, bacon — a breakfast staple — is a fitting choice.
Pickles or Cornichons
Whereas garnish variations for classics like Gin and Tonics or Espresso Martinis generally echo the drinks’ ingredients, Bloody Marys invite diversity in their embellishments. We celebrate that. Some drinkers want a briny, acidic taste to zhuzh up their Bloody Marys, and both pickle spears and cornichons deliver just that. Their juicy-yet-crunchy textures match the cocktail’s more savory notes, and their briny and acidic flavor profile enhances the drink’s salivating factor.
Old Bay Shrimp
Is an Old Bay shrimp garnish simple to execute? No. Does it perfectly toe the line between camp and class? Yes. Is the effort worth it? Maybe. A few spiced-up prawns studding the rim of a glass is a surprise we welcome — that is, when we aren’t the ones preparing the drink. The shrimp helps to mellow the occasionally overpowering flavor of a Bloody May, while the Old Bay seasoning blends perfectly with the cocktail’s sprinkling of pepper and celery salt. It matches the beverage’s beachside connotations, but the pitfall of Old Bay shrimp is that it can lean into overwrought territory.
Pickled Okra
We welcome the crunchy, piquant elements pickled okra brings to the table, but their spice can be too much against an already flavor-packed concoction. They do have some redeeming qualities, such as the tang that lifts up vodka’s weight and their scarcity in other cocktails, but they don’t do much to balance the peppery bits in the cocktail. Pickled okra is a delicious snack, however — so top your Bloody off with a few pods if all-around spice is your thing.
Olives
Olives score mid-tier on this list because they are easy to acquire and tack onto the drink, but, as evidenced above, there are more interesting ways to impart a briny flavor. Similar to pickles and cornichons, olives’ deep-green color makes for a pleasant look against a drink that’s colored by tomato juice, but we’re going to need an add-on that’s a bit more awe-inspiring for a Bloody Mary.
Citrus
While delicious when added to the mix, we rank citrus fruits further down because, similar to olives, they can be a bit boring. Yes, their juicy acidity brightens the concoction up, but citrus wedges and rinds are the typical adornments for a slew of classic cocktails (See: Old Fashioned, Manhattan, Daiquiri, Whiskey Sour, etc.). And a drink as wild as a Bloody Mary deserves a more creative touch.
Soggy Parsley
Herbs are welcome as garnishes in cocktails like the Mojito where bundles of mint leaves dress up the tropical drink, but parsley lacks the structural integrity needed to achieve a beautiful Bloody Mary. Plus, mint leaves are usually muddled at the bottom of the glass for a Mojito. In the case of the Bloody Mary, when parsley is on, rather than in, the drink, what are we supposed to do with it? Taking intermittent bites of parsley leaves feels a bit too forced. Instead of placing the floppy leaves over the rim, we’d welcome finely chopped parsley in the mix for an herbaceous kick.
Deviled Eggs
Eggs belong in cocktails when their whites are whipped for fluffy textures like in a Ramos Gin Fizz. Cooked eggs, on the other hand, do not. While delicious in their own right, bookending sips of vodka and tomato juice with deviled eggs’ rubbery texture and fatty flavor is, in our opinion, quite unpleasant.
Lobster
Credit: @blindpelicanseafood on Instagram
Shrimp are acceptable, but their larger, more-difficult-to-balance-atop-a-glass counterparts are not. We understand the intrigue: A lobster adorning a Bloody Mary offers an unmatched wow factor. But splitting your time between cracking the shell, noshing on the meat, and sipping the drink is far too arduous a task for a laid-back cocktail. Consider the lobster, we say, and don’t sacrifice it for an Instagrammable Bloody Mary.
Cheeseburger
Credit: @whisk_noreward on Instagram
Lest the cheeseburger be the most delicious thing we’ve ever tasted, a Bloody Mary is no place for a juicy slider. Receiving the cocktail — or any cocktail, for that matter — with a cheeseburger garnish begs some existential questions. Dare I drink the whole thing before eating the slider and risk the top-heavy weight causing the glass to topple over? Do I dunk the sandwich into the mix? These are questions we don’t want to be asking ourselves when delighting in a delicious cocktail.
Fried Chicken
Credit: @sobelmans on Instagram
We have the same thoughts for a whole fried chicken towering over a Bloody as we do for a cheeseburger. In short: No, thank you.
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