Obviously, the goal of any beer, wine, or liquor ad is to sell a product, and that’s usually accomplished by selling a lifestyle, too. But that’s a tough trick to pull off, and despite focus groups, data, and decades of work to study, advertisement success is hard to predict — and sometimes, the more unconventional ones tend to work out best. (Consider the Budweiser Frogs or the brand’s “Whassup!” ad.)
Figuring out what’s going to strike a resonant chord with the general drinking public can be a gamble. And of the countless booze ads out there, many have missed the mark. That’s why we scoured the internet to find what we believe to be the absolute worst beer, wine, and spirits ads throughout history.
In curating this list, we stuck to video and didn’t consider print ads, although there are plenty of terrible ones out there. Without further ado, from the confusing to the strange to the flat-out offensive, here are our picks for the worst booze ads of all time.
Falstaff Beer: ‘Man-Sized Pleasure’ (1950s-1960s)
While this may not be the worst ad in the roundup, it definitely has its faults. For one, we’re not here to tell you what recreational activities are best with a beer in hand, but target practice with a compound bow certainly isn’t one of them. And let’s be honest: What the actual f*ck is “man-sized pleasure”? Playing up machismo was an unfortunate signature of ‘50s and ‘60s beer advertising, but even on its own, the phrase lands like a poor English translation. We also may not be brewers, but the necessity of the Falstaff’s chilling tower is debatable: Ice already does a heck of a job at keeping things cold, not to mention the risk of lost carbonation that would come from pouring fresh beer down whatever a chilling tower is. All said, the jingle is pretty catchy.
Schlitz Beer: ‘Drink Schlitz or I’ll Kill You’ (1977)
Of course, this list wouldn’t be complete without what might be the most infamous beer ad campaign of all time. The dueling commercials in question arrived in 1977 when light beer was on the rise and old stalwart brands like Schlitz were trying to think of new ways to boost their bottom lines. (The brand had also recently reformulated its recipe with cheaper ingredients and cost-cutting brewing techniques, eventually leading to a 10 million-can recall in 1976.) But the real kicker for Schlitz was the two ads now remembered as the “Drink Schlitz or I’ll Kill You” campaign. Both ads take a POV-style approach, and feature an off-screen voice attempting to sell another beer brand to a boxer and a lumberjack already enjoying their Schlitz. The two are so offended by the idea of drinking anything else that they berate the camera guy with a litany of violent threats, furious that he dare try and “take away their gusto.”
The campaign, dreamt up by ad agency Leo Burnett & Co., sounds silly on paper. But on screen, it skewed somewhat scary. Four years later, Schlitz closed its Milwaukee brewery, and these days, it’s still produced by the Pabst Brewing Company. The ad campaign, though, proved a near-fatal blow with an unfortunate lasting legacy.
Bud Light: ‘Sleigh’ (2004)
Budweiser is responsible for some of the most iconic beer ads of all time, but at the 2004 Super Bowl, we got this cringy, juvenile ad snippet from the Bud Light brand. Picture it: A couple riding in a one-horse open sleigh through a winter wonderland, and the man assures the woman that “it’s about to get a little bit more romantic.” What tricks could this king possibly have up his sleeve? A candle and a cooler full of Bud Light — because nothing quite says “romance” like a bottle of American macro lager. But before they get the chance to start drinking, the horse farts in the woman’s face, causing the lit candle to singe her hair. We’re not entirely sure what the takeaway message is here, but judging by the “Fresh, smooth, real, Bud Light” tagline, perhaps getting farted on by a thoroughbred is a humbling dose of reality? Either way, the whole thing certainly doesn’t inspire us to rush out and restock our fridge with Bud.
Russian Ice Vodka: ‘Cliché Is Good’ (2008)
In 2008, Russian vodka producer Synergy tapped actor Sylvester Stallone to be the celeb spokesperson for its brand Russian Ice Vodka. This ad kicks off with a promising intro following a day in the life of Stallone, during which he starts his morning with a cup of coffee “from Brazil” and puts on one of his many suits (“every one of them Italian”). Then, things take a turn: “The gardener? Mexican,” he says while waving to the staff trimming his hedges. It only gets more racist from there. We soon find out that his photo-loving fans are from Japan, his assistant is “German and efficient,” and his wife is “Cuban with a touch of silicone,” all before seeing that his Hollywood friends are a bunch of well-to-do white folks. This litany of offensive stereotypes culminates in the moment when we’re presented with a shot of Russian Ice Vodka coupled with Stallone laughing and the slogan: “Cliché is good.” Nope, it’s not.
Heineken: ‘Sometimes, Lighter is Better’ (2018)
In 2018, Heineken rolled out this Heineken Light ad, which quickly got slammed by multiple publications and celebrities — and for good reason. The snippet opens at a bar equipped with plenty of the brand’s signature green bottles and a single draft line. After the bartender sees a fair-skinned woman glancing disappointedly at a glass of white wine, he slides a cold Heineken Light down to her. As we see the bottle magically hop between different surfaces, it passes by several Black guests before stopping right next to the aforementioned wine glass. Then, we get hit with the crushing on-screen text: “Sometimes, lighter is better.” After weeks of public backlash, Heineken yanked the ad from its YouTube page. The company also gave a statement to Business Insider at the time, saying, “While we feel the ad is referencing our Heineken Light beer — we missed the mark, are taking the feedback to heart, and will use this to influence future campaigns.”
*Image retrieved from Syda Productions via stock.adobe.com
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